This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and while she looked so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her, when she smiles... -Nine Days

Thursday, March 09, 2006

To love with worlds apart

Remember Lhiza, the one I was writing about some time ago? She was to leave for Canada to be with his hubby after more than two years of waiting. Well she left, a week ago. And today she sent some lovely photos of herself, his husband and the snow. Seems freezing cold in the picture, but you know the saccharine part of it, that despite the frosty backdrop, their smiles seem to me like the sun on a summer at the beach. Hmmm…happiness. Perhaps more like two years of longing and missing and loving bottled up and now the cork’s been popped out. It was definitely worth the wait.

This brings me to thinking about long distance relationships once again. I’ve been in one and sadly I was more a casualty than a survivor of it. But it’s worth mentioning that why it didn’t work out was entirely my own doing. I was the one who started having second thoughts. I was the one, who began asking, doubting, feeling insecure, helpless, hopeless, impatient, alone, uncared for. I was the one who got fed up with phone calls and emails and love letters because I longed too much to be able to touch his face. I was the one who thought that we were growing apart each day, and every waking hour I was loving a stranger. I was the one who lost faith in him, in me, in us together and our dreams. I was the liar who broke my promise to wait. I was the weakling who gave up. I don’t really know if anyone could relate to my reasons, but it wasn’t really easy for me.

Lhiza’s story was the exact opposite. They carried on for two years on just phone calls, emails, & YMs and their faith in each other’s word. When Gino’s family migrated to Canada after graduation, he left a promise to her that if she could wait, he would marry her after two years. He came home last year to marry her and we were there. We were teary-eyed. Gino left again after the wedding and after six months, they were back in each other’s arms and this time, for good.

I once happened to eavesdrop on Private Conversations with Boy Abunda, with guests Jolina and her boyfriend Bebong Muñoz who works in the States. They too have been on a long-distance relationship for years now but it seemed like they were never apart. Boy asked how they were able to manage loving while living on separate worlds (figuratively & literally) and Bebong was quick to answer, something to this effect, “It’s really simple, if you truly love someone and you believe you’ve already found the “one”, would you still look for somebody else?”

Long distance relationships could be high-maintenance. It could cost a great deal. But more than the phone cards, and the internet fees, the pain of wanting and needing someone who sits on the other end of the world, and waiting for the day you could finally be together is such a high price to pay. But this kind of relationship is all about sacrifice. It’s about putting up with cold nights, and letting the thought that someday you would feel his arms around you be your fire. If there is love, no amount of pain can make you turn back. If there is faith, no amount of loneliness can make you give up.


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