stupefied

This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and while she looked so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her, when she smiles... -Nine Days

Monday, March 27, 2006

Hospitals...Part II

My X-ray says:

The cranial vault is intact. The sella turcica is normal in size and configuration. The clinoids are not eroded. No abnormal intracranial calcifications. The orbits are well-formed and symmetrical. The rest of the visualized bones are unremarkable.

“In English, you have a normal skull”, says the doctor, who’s probably seen me scratch my head a bit.

“What are these cysts then doc?” I asked, to which he was dumbfounded for a minute. Then he feels my forehead again and looks up, as though mentally he was browsing via Google although it looked like the search generated zero results.

He goes “It’s not in the skull, so perhaps it’s in the skin. I don’t think it’s malignant. To be safe, just have it operated. Yung nga lang magiging peklat yan.”

Perhaps. The doctor couldn’t be sure even with an X-ray and this worries me. I used to be comfortable with maybe’s rather than a straight answer coz it gives me something to hope for at least, but this time I felt it was much easier to handle the truth than prolong the agony of waiting. So I asked him “Is this cancerous?”

“I don’t think so hija. Kinakabahan ka ba?”

Obviously. What do you do when the person whom you’ve been counting on to give you an answer can’t give you the answer? Or maybe the answer you want to hear? I’ve been dying to hear that I should be fine. But I wanted to hear it from somebody who wouldn’t say perhaps. It’s my health at stake here, my life.

Well, he was just a doctor, I told myself. He couldn’t possibly know everything. What he could provide was an opinion, and that’s just based from previous studies or experiences.
Only God can really tell.

The afternoon ended with the doctor finally telling me to get another opinion, which I think was the brightest thing he could come up with the whole afternoon.

So now I’m skimming through a list of neuro-surgeons. I’m off for a second---err---fourth opinion.


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