This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world, and while she looked so sad in photographs, I absolutely love her, when she smiles... -Nine Days

Friday, March 31, 2006

First Move

Picture this:

There’s this guy in your office. Single, available, good-looking, smart, the perfect gentleman. He’s 21 and you’re 26. But even if they call you a cradle snatcher, you still like him anyway. You’ve been walking in the same office for quite some time already; teased a couple of times, but all you could share were awkward silences. A little nod, maybe, a little smile, but your tongue just chickens out. You like him darn much it aches already, but you’re powerless. You think that by being the girl, all you could really do is wait and call on your saints and hope that by some miracle, your existence will be acknowledged one day. You think about making the first move. But how do you do that? What if he calls you Ate? You fear the pain of rejection or the plain embarrassment of it. So you just brush under the carpet. You just give up.

End of story, you hope it’s gonna die a natural death. But you missed the point that something like this can actually haunt you for the rest of your life, like one of your many what if’s. What if you took the chance?

My female colleague seems to be in the same boat. She asks, “Should I make the first move?”

I’ve no expert advice to give away this time, though I remember having done this a couple of times already. In one I was lucky, in another I was mortified, in another, I was pathetic. Once I told a guy friend how I felt and he got more embarrassed than I was. He said he was flattered. Another said he was sorry. The immature one ended up not speaking with me for good. Some could actually appreciate honesty, but others are turned off by such straightforwardness. Some would acknowledge your boldness, but others would think it's an act of desperation. But frankly, I’d rather get it over with and put up with whatever the guy has to say than second-guess forever. You’ll need a tough heart though.

You’re lucky if he feels the same way, or he thinks you’re a potential. Otherwise, you’ll only be sorry. I think this calls for some “testing the waters”. Somehow you need to gauge your position before you make the move, if only to protect yourself from possibly losing your self-esteem. But that's the tricky part. How you do assess what he feels about you? Can you really tell it from his actions? Some men can be showy, but others like the mysterious effect. I can’t be certain. His silence can probably mean many things. He could probably be testing the waters too. Or maybe he doesn’t even know your name. Or he’s just not into you coz you’re guava and he wants peach. Or could he be that torpe? Can the fact that he’s younger than you actually make the situation any different?

To the girls, how do you make the first move?

To the guys, what do you do when a girl does?



Anonymous masterbetong said...

uhmmm... i don't know, i wish someone would do that to me. hehehe.

nice blog.

5:23 PM  

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